We'll Miss You, Sarah

Well. it's almost done. An election that has been two years in the making is about to come to a close. In just a little over a day, voters will go to the polls and potentially make history. The odds are looking good that Barack Obama will be elected as the next President of the United States. Without being overconfident, I am filled with hope for the direction in which our country is headed. However, there is one thing that makes me a little sad.

Where will Sarah Palin go?

Will she return to Alaska and fade back into obscurity or will she stick around, as some are predicting, to keep her name in the hat for 2012? I, for one, hope that she goes back to moose hunting in the Arctic. However, there is a part of me that will miss her and all of her Palinisms.

You see, I wanted to like Sarah Palin. Maybe it's the fact that she is a woman, and since there are so few women in positions of power that I subconsciously want her to succeed. But I supported Obama over Hillary, so I'm not one to vote for a woman just "because." It might have something to do with her hockey mom image, and the resolve that it must take to raise a disabled child, I don't know.

So, yeah, what's left of the small part of me that wants to conform, wants to like Sarah Palin. However, the rest of me roots for the underdog, the "other." Sarah Palin may claim to be a Washington outsider, but she stands for everything that is wrong with our current government. She is a bully, she is ignorant, and she is unwilling to listen to those who give her advice, trying to keep her from making a fool of herself. Though Sarah Palin looks like an All-American mom, she goes against everything I believe in, and that is why I cannot like her.

That being said, Sarah Palin's path to GOP glory has been about the most hilarious thing that I have ever seen. She puts George W. Bush to shame in the mis-speaking department. As a tribute to the woman that I will thoroughly miss making fun of, here are some of my favorite Palin moments.

1.) Tina Fey. First, there was the "Nonpartisan Message" from Sarah Palin (Tina Fey) and Hillary Clinton (Amy Poehler). At the time, I thought it was one of the funniest things that I have ever seen. Then came the spoof of the Couric interview, followed by the Vice Presidential debate, and the meeting between the real and the fake Palins. There was also the QVC spot with fake Palin and fake McCain. Tina Fey has OWNED Sarah Palin, you betcha. Check out NBC.com for videos of the hilarity.

2.)The interview with Charlie Gibson. This is the first time we had the chance to become acquainted with Palin's uncanny knack for answering questions without actually answering them, or even really understanding them. For example, consider the question, asked by Gibson, "When I asked John McCain about your national security credentials, he cited the fact you have command of the Alaskan National Guard and Alaska is close to Russia. Are those sufficient credentials?" Simple yes or no question. Her reply? "But it is about reform of government. And it’s about putting government back on the side of the people. And that has much to do with foreign policy and national security issues." Ok, she mentions about four different talking points, and yet, no answer. Not all of us are sheep, Governor. And, of course, this interview is where Tina Fey's famous line, "I can see Russia from my house" is derived from.

3.)The Couric interview. Much like her first major interview, this was pretty much a disaster for the Republicans. Here, we learn that Palin reads all of the newspapers, not some, but "all of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years." Also, she defended Alaska's proximity to Russia as foreign policy experience.

4.)Alaskan women hold an anti-Palin rally. I found this on Snopes. Apparently, there are some women in Alaska who are not big fans of their governor. Check out the page to see pictures. My favorite signs are "Hockey Mama for Obama" and "The Alaska Disasta." I love it.

5.)Thanks, but no thanks. We all know that Palin supported the Bridge to Nowhere before she opposed it but, by God, she stuck to her story as long as possible.

6.)Say it ain't so, Joe! Palin's excessive usage of first names or nicknames sometimes strikes me as being condescending (Can I call you Joe?). It reminds me of Bush (You're doing a heck of a job, Brownie). Anyway, this debate was full of this fake familiarity. Here's a snippet from her debate with Biden:

"Say it ain't so, Joe, there you go again pointing backwards again. You preferenced your whole comment with the Bush administration. Now doggone it, let's look ahead and tell Americans what we have to plan to do for them in the future. You mentioned education and I'm glad you did. I know education you are passionate about with your wife being a teacher for 30 years, and god bless her. Her reward is in heaven, right? I say, too, with education, America needs to be putting a lot more focus on that and our schools have got to be really ramped up in terms of the funding that they are deserving. Teachers needed to be paid more. I come from a house full of school teachers. My grandma was, my dad who is in the audience today, he's a schoolteacher, had been for many years. My brother, who I think is the best schoolteacher in the year, and here's a shout-out to all those third graders at Gladys Wood Elementary School, you get extra credit for watching the debate."

Gotta love it.

7.) Palin Goes Rogue!!! A slew of McCain aides recently came out semi-publicly saying that Palin has become unmanageable, and will not stick to her script. She has disagreed with McCain over pulling out of Michigan and the robocall issue. Here's what one so-called McCain supporter said:

"She is a diva. She takes no advice from anyone. She does not have any
relationships of trust with any of us, her family or anyone else. Also, she is
playing for her own future and sees herself as the next leader of the party.
Remember: Divas trust only unto themselves, as they see themselves as the
beginning and end of all wisdom."

Wow, divas trust only unto themselves. I'm sure that's in the Bible somewhere...

8.) The Palin-McCain White House? At one rally, Palin reversed the order of the names on the ticket. Freudian slip, perhaps?

9.) A special place in hell... Palin misquoted Madeline Albright as saying, 'There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women." So, I'm going to hell? Great, first Palin says that I'm not a real American, now I'm going to hell. This definitely hasn't been my year...

10.) The wink. No matter what she says, the wink seals the deal. For Palin-supporters, the wink is reassuring, and makes them feel comfortable with her. For the rest of us, the wink means, here we go, another four years of this...Bush's giggle has been too much, four years of McCain's leadership alongside Palin's wink might just kill me.

That's all for tonight, but I have a lot more coming tomorrow, on Election Day Eve. I am going to have trouble sleeping until the results are in. The excitement (and worry) is just too much.

McCain Gets Picked On

According to the Center for Media and Public Affairs, Jay Leno and Dave Letterman have made fun of McCain or Palin 475 times since September 1, compared to 69 times for Obama and Biden. Some feel that this is unfair, and provides further evidence that the "liberal media" is a threat. They think that late-night TV hosts should pick on both candidates equally. McCain and Palin supporters really can't see what's so funny.

Really?

Just look at the way the candidates carry themselves. Obama seems to glide across a stage, and we all know how eloquent he is. McCain shuffles a bit, and appears disoriented at times. Let's just face it, he's old. Even McCain jokes about his age. I'm sorry, but old people are funny.

How about when McCain jokingly called that kid a "little jerk?" Am I the only person who envisions him on his front porch, in his robe, shaking his fist, screaming at kids to get the hell off his damn lawn?

What about the fact that he skipped past many seemingly qualified candidates to select Sarah Palin, a caricature of a real person, as his running mate?

Speaking of Sarah Palin, I could literally go on all day, but I'll just give you a few reasons why she is such a great target. Let's start with the whole being able to see Russia from her house thing.

Then there's the accent. One common fact that we have learned from both the Clinton and Bush presidencies, it's that regional accents get a lot of play on Saturday Night Live.

The interviews. Sure, she's done better recently, but those first two interviews with Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric were priceless.

The Bridge to Nowhere. "I said 'thanks, but no thanks' to the bridge to nowhere." No, you didn't! Even after this Palin claim was widely accepted to be false, she hammered it home. That kind of cluelessness, or outright deceitfulness, is pretty funny, although she probably could have taught Bill Clinton a thing or two about sticking to his lie.

The guns. There's a reason that all of the animals in Wasilla, Alaska run like the wind when Palin comes home: because she will hunt them down and kill them. Check out Betty White calling Palin "one crazy bitch," after noting that Palin is shooting down all of McCain's messenger pigeons, thus disrupting campaign communications.

There are many more things that I could list, but you get the idea. Most of these jokes are all in good fun, of course, but I think comedy is an outlet. I think a lot of people feel that the country has been run by a gang of bullies for the last eight years, so why not pick on those who have picked on us? Maybe the Republican Party has been targeted as the primary butt of the joke for a reason: they deserve it.

I don't think I have heard a better explanation of this as the one Wanda Sykes gave on the Tonight Show when describing the differences in the Democratic and Republican conventions. Here's what she said:

"Well, you know, I watched the convention. You know, watching
the Democratic Convention, it felt like America. You know, it
looked like America. It was hopeful and it was positive and, you know, everybody
holding hands. And then I watched the Republican Convention. It was like
watching a meeting in Dr. Evil's lair."

I think the argument here is that the Republicans are out of touch with the people, and for this, they have been laughed at...continually. I, for one, do not feel guilty about this at all, and if by some chance, the fact that McCain and Palin have been picked on more is what causes them to lose, so be it. They brought it upon themselves.