McCain Gets Picked On

According to the Center for Media and Public Affairs, Jay Leno and Dave Letterman have made fun of McCain or Palin 475 times since September 1, compared to 69 times for Obama and Biden. Some feel that this is unfair, and provides further evidence that the "liberal media" is a threat. They think that late-night TV hosts should pick on both candidates equally. McCain and Palin supporters really can't see what's so funny.

Really?

Just look at the way the candidates carry themselves. Obama seems to glide across a stage, and we all know how eloquent he is. McCain shuffles a bit, and appears disoriented at times. Let's just face it, he's old. Even McCain jokes about his age. I'm sorry, but old people are funny.

How about when McCain jokingly called that kid a "little jerk?" Am I the only person who envisions him on his front porch, in his robe, shaking his fist, screaming at kids to get the hell off his damn lawn?

What about the fact that he skipped past many seemingly qualified candidates to select Sarah Palin, a caricature of a real person, as his running mate?

Speaking of Sarah Palin, I could literally go on all day, but I'll just give you a few reasons why she is such a great target. Let's start with the whole being able to see Russia from her house thing.

Then there's the accent. One common fact that we have learned from both the Clinton and Bush presidencies, it's that regional accents get a lot of play on Saturday Night Live.

The interviews. Sure, she's done better recently, but those first two interviews with Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric were priceless.

The Bridge to Nowhere. "I said 'thanks, but no thanks' to the bridge to nowhere." No, you didn't! Even after this Palin claim was widely accepted to be false, she hammered it home. That kind of cluelessness, or outright deceitfulness, is pretty funny, although she probably could have taught Bill Clinton a thing or two about sticking to his lie.

The guns. There's a reason that all of the animals in Wasilla, Alaska run like the wind when Palin comes home: because she will hunt them down and kill them. Check out Betty White calling Palin "one crazy bitch," after noting that Palin is shooting down all of McCain's messenger pigeons, thus disrupting campaign communications.

There are many more things that I could list, but you get the idea. Most of these jokes are all in good fun, of course, but I think comedy is an outlet. I think a lot of people feel that the country has been run by a gang of bullies for the last eight years, so why not pick on those who have picked on us? Maybe the Republican Party has been targeted as the primary butt of the joke for a reason: they deserve it.

I don't think I have heard a better explanation of this as the one Wanda Sykes gave on the Tonight Show when describing the differences in the Democratic and Republican conventions. Here's what she said:

"Well, you know, I watched the convention. You know, watching
the Democratic Convention, it felt like America. You know, it
looked like America. It was hopeful and it was positive and, you know, everybody
holding hands. And then I watched the Republican Convention. It was like
watching a meeting in Dr. Evil's lair."

I think the argument here is that the Republicans are out of touch with the people, and for this, they have been laughed at...continually. I, for one, do not feel guilty about this at all, and if by some chance, the fact that McCain and Palin have been picked on more is what causes them to lose, so be it. They brought it upon themselves.

John McCain's Top Ten Mistakes

The Dallas Morning News printed "McCain's 10 worst ideas" (from foreignpolicy.com) today. Here they are:

Creating a League of Democracies- This could undermine the U.N., according to Thomas Carothers in the July/August issue of Foreign Policy)

Calling for a gas-tax holiday- This would potentially increase demand, which would raise the price of gas, and wouldn't really save us that much money.

Flip-flopping on immigration- McCain was once (to quote Tina Fey as Sarah Palin) pretty "mavericky" on the issue. Now, he sticks to the typical Republican line, "securing borders first," without actually addressing the causes of illegal immigration.

Supporting abstinence-only education and the global gag rule- Okay, people, your kids are having sex. There, I said it. There is no reason that they should suffer for the rest of their lives because they were never taught how to be safe.

Drilling our way out of the oil crisis- One, haven't we destroyed the environment enough? Two, the oil that we drill for today will not make its way to our gas tanks anywhere in the immediate future. By the time that happens, we should have those flying cars that they have been promising us forever.

Balancing the budget through victory in the war on terror- McCain is against setting a timetable for getting out of Iraq, and once said that we would be there for 100 years, if need be. So, it's kinda hard to understand how we are going to save money here.

Making the Bush tax cuts permanent- This is something he has flip-flopped on, as well, saying in 2004, that he did not support the Bush tax cuts "because of the disproportional amount that went to the wealthiest Americans."

Calling for 45 nuclear power plants- This is another plan that will not really have an impact in the immediate future. Sure, we need to be looking toward the future, but there are other avenues to explore.

Backing cap-and-trade without a 100 percent auction- McCain's plan could lead to some businesses getting "sweetheart deals."

Requiring a three-fifths majority to raise taxes- This has not had great results at the state level, so probably wouldn't work federally.


So, these are McCain's 10 worst ideas? I agree that these are all bad ideas, but I think I can do better. Did they really not mention Sarah Palin? With all due respect to the writers at Foreign Policy and their serious journalism, here is my (humorous) take on some of McCain's worst ideas.

Hugging Bush. Seriously, Senator McCain, have you never heard of a side hug?



Using Joe the Plumber's name in vain. Okay, Joe may or may not have been recruited by the Republicans to ask the question heard 'round the world. That's not really important. Joe, if in fact that is his real name (which, as has been recently revealed, is not), has had all of his dirty laundry aired to the public. We know all of his secrets. He's not a licensed plumber, he owes back taxes, and he feels pretty when he puts on his wife's nightie. Who cares? Shouldn't we be worrying about the important things, like the fact that our economy is falling to pieces?

Referring to Obama as "That One." Besides being condescending, this remark pissed a lot of people off. McCain probably did not mean to be insulting, but this reflects poorly on his people skills. I would prefer a president that can be confrontational without being childish.

Blowing off Letterman. Is it just me, or did Letterman absolutely lay the smackdown on McCain? I know that most people laughed at Letterman's reaction to McCain canceling his initial appearance on the show, but check out the transcript. He interrogated McCain about Sarah Palin, McCain's negative campaigning tactics, and much more. Here's part of it:

DL: No, no. I’m just getting started! Now she’s (Sarah Palin) also, she’s the one, I think who says that Barack Obama pals around with terrorists. Has she in fact said that at rallies?
JM: I don’t…yes. And he did. And refused to acknowledge the fact.
DL: Who did he pal around with?
JM: William Ayers who said on 9/11 that he wished that he’d bombed more. OK? His wife was on the Top 10 of FBI’s Most Wanted.
DL: But this all took place…when he was active, Barack Obama was eight years old.
JM: Eight years old. And Mr. Ayers in 2001, September 11, 2001, said, “I wished I had bombed more.” It’s an unrep—
DL: But what is that relationship?
JM: It’s all we need to know. Senator Clinton said, “We need to know about the relationship.” First he said he was just a guy in the neighborhood. And so it’s a matter of trusting the word of someone.
DL: I know. I know.
JM: That’s all.
DL: But you will also admit that we cannot really control who we interact with in our lives 100%.
JM: How long we interact with them and how we interact with them…But the point in this campaign is the economy, the economy and the economy.
DL: But did you not have a relationship with Gordon Liddy?
JM: I met him, you know, I mean…
DL: Didn’t you attend a fund raiser at his house?
JM: Gordon Liddy’s?
DL: How about that Tina Fey?
JM: I know Gordon Liddy. He paid his debt. He went to prison, he paid his debt, as people do. I’m not in any way embarrassed to know Gordon Liddy. And his son, who is also a good friend and supporter of mine.
DL: But you understand that the same case could be made of your relationship with him as being made with William Ayers.
JM: Everything about any relationship that I’ve had I will make completely open and give a complete accounting of. Senator Obama said that he was a guy who lived in the neighborhood. OK, it was more than that.
DL: They served on a committee at one point.
JM: Yes, that gave $230,000 to ACORN which is now involved in what may be one of the great voter frauds in history. It could be. We need to know.
DL: Are they double dating? Are they going to dinner? What are they doing? Are they driving cross country?
JM: Maybe going to Denny’s. Who knows? The Grand Slam…
DL: Now she said “pals around with terrorists.” OK, so alright. Let’s say we give her William Ayers. He was eight and William Ayers was 29. But they palled around.
JM: There’s millions of word said in the campaign. Come on!
DL: But that’s where we live. In politics, isn’t it?
JM: Millions of words. Yes indeed. Look, let’s…

Drum roll, please...

Sarah Palin! If you have read anything that I have posted here, you know how I feel about this woman. She is horrifyingly unqualified and is just a pretty face recruited to reel in uneducated voters. I'm not going to go on and on about Palin (right now), but even McCain has to question his decision for her to be his running-mate when he sees how she is dragging his numbers down.

Honestly, I wanted to list Sarah Palin as every one of McCain's mistakes, but I felt it might be a bit redundant. After all, people vote mostly for the person at the top of the ticket, and the race is between McCain and Obama. The point is, McCain has made mistakes, as has Obama, and I choose to make fun of McCain. See? This is democracy in action, or maybe perhaps its just boredom in action...